


Push Away the Unimaginable

by DianaandAlicia



Series: Post Good Out Here [1]
Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Feels, Fix-It of Sorts, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 02:48:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14607615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaandAlicia/pseuds/DianaandAlicia
Summary: After Nick dies, Alicia is drowning. Can her new family help her find peace after she experiences the unimaginable?





	Push Away the Unimaginable

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published work ever so it might not be as good as other folks. I just wanted to get my feelings out over a series of one shots. My beta for this story was Meteoraangel. Thanks Sam!

"Alicia....it's time to go back to the van now." Victor said softly, looking at the mourning girl on the ground. 

"No." 

"Alicia......" 

"No! I'm not leaving him." She cried, her voice breaking. 

Victor sighed, not knowing what to do. 

After the last scoop of dirt was dropped onto Nick's grave, everyone stood there in silence, paying their respects. Morgan put the Bluebonnet on the grave, the last piece of good that Nick ever witnessed. He then walked back over by John and Althea. The three were close enough to pay their respects to Nick, but they were also a far enough distance away to not crowd the three who actually knew him. 

After a few minutes, Luciana went over to the grave and touched the soil, saying one last silent goodbye to her love. She then went over to the van, wanting some space. After Luciana left, Alicia walked over to the grave and laid right on top of it, as if she was trying to get as close to Nick as possible without digging him back up. 

This was about forty minutes ago. Victor and Alicia were the only ones who remained by the grave under the tree, the others had gone over by the van a while ago. Althea told them that they were in no rush and they could take as much time as they needed to say goodbye to Nick. 

"Nicky...." Alicia whimpered, running her fingers through the loose dirt again, letting the soft, cool soil sift between her fingers. Her eyes stung from all her tears but she was no longer crying. She had run out of energy and tears after crying for so long. 

"Alicia, it's really time to go now. Sitting here isn't going to bring him back." 

"I know that." She snapped at Victor, giving him a glare. Victor put his hands up in a surrender and walked away, going back over to the van. He knew his comment went too far and Alicia needed a little more time. She knew where the swat van was and she also knew that the group wouldn't leave without her. 

Twenty minutes later, Alicia slowly walked over to the van. Her eyes were red and puffy from her tears and there were visible tear tracks running down her cheeks. 

Everyone stood in silence as they watched her go into the van and rummage through Nick's bag. She was looking for a specific thing and obviously didn't want any help with finding it. 

After about a minute of searching, she pulled out a plaid shirt, one of Nick's flannels, and put it on over her little coat that she was wearing. She then sat down on one of the benches, ready to leave the gravesite.  

Everyone got back into their respective places, John driving and Morgan in the passenger seat, Althea, Luciana, and Victor joining Alicia in the back. It was quiet for a few minutes but Alicia broke the silence. 

"It doesn't hit you right away. I mean when we were driving here, I could have lifted up the blanket and looked at Nick, but once we put him in the ground, then there was no way for me to see him. That's when it hit me. That's when I realized I'd never see Nick again." 

Victor and Luciana didn't speak but Althea nodded in understanding. "I'm really sorry about what happened with your brother. We can help you find all of the people responsible and end this." 

To everyone's surprise, Alicia only shook her head. 

"No. I'm done. I can't keep fighting like this. I lost my brother over this. I don't want to do this anymore. I want it all to stop." Alicia's voice had so much conviction in it over the matter that it made Althea wonder what changed the girl's mindset in such a short amount of time. An hour ago, Alicia was hell bent on killing every single person that wronged her. Now she changed her mind completely. 

"What changed your mind?" Althea asked, basically having the same question as everyone else in the van. 

"Even if we kill everyone responsible, it's not going to bring Nick back. We could kill every Vulture in the group and the only thing that would change would be the fact that there are more dead bodies on the ground. We could do everything possible to get revenge, but nothing that we do will ever bring Nick back." 

Everyone was silent, mulling over what Alicia said in their minds, but Althea nodded in understanding, giving the girl a warm smile to try and comfort her. 

The group drove for a couple hours before stopping for the night, making a small camp in a secure area so they could sleep a couple hours. They had shifts of two people keeping watch for a few hours at a time and in the morning after eating a small breakfast, they were on the road again. They drove for a couple hours before passing a road sign that informed them that they were so far North in Texas that they were a couple hours away from the Texas-Oklahoma border. 

They drove around for a bit until they found a deserted property. It had a white farm house surrounded by a big lawn with a garden and a barn and barnyard. There were three medium sized farm fields and the whole property was surrounded by a strong fence. There were no infected in sight and it looked too good to be true.  

After doing a sweep through the place and finding no infected, the group decided to make the place their home, especially when they found canned goods, seeds and different kinds of animal feed in the cellar, and solar panels on the roof, so they could have electricity. 

There were some woods a half mile from the property with a big lake and stream that somehow connected to a well situated by the barn. They could grow food, hunt and fish, hardly ever having to leave, and it was so isolated that there were no infected to be seen. It was the perfect place. 

By the end of the night, they all got settled and had all their rooms picked out. Alicia went into her bedroom and shut the door, wanting to be alone for a while. 

Little did the group know, that was the last time Alicia would leave her room for three months. 

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more in this series to come but updates depend on when I have time to write and post. The title came from a lyric from Hamilton and I felt that it worked with the situation. I didn't like how Alicia walked away from Nick's grave like burying him was no big deal in the actual episode so I'm rewriting season 4 so it can kind of be happy.


End file.
